Place: Bunhill Fields, Shoreditch
Hello, I am Justin Bieber. I believe in a more wholesome Ladylike world, to which I have devoted my angelic voice. My favorite Lady movie is The Notebook, which has been well documented in interviews, and my favorite way to while away the hours is through making Ladies' dreams come true. Today, I have chosen to grant the wishes of Rachel and Lisa, by accompanying them on a cemetery picnic in Bunhill Fields. Because that is what I do, like a magical fairy genie.
I chose to bring Rachel and Lisa to Bunhill Fields because they like scary things, and because it is the final resting place of such dissidents as Daniel Defoe and William Blake, which I knew they would well appreciate.
Although according to sources such as Teen Beat my favorite foods are spaghetti and McDonald's, Lisa prepared an awesome courgette pie and broccoli/artichoke medley. The Ladies also provided me with all my daily antioxidants through the combination of a full fruit salad and pint of blackberries, and we all shared a Cadbury chocolate of course.
The current lore in Shoreditch is that once upon a midnight hour, Lisa dared Rachel (or bribed her with one English pound) to request one of my songs from a Very Very Hip London Shoreditch DJ. Rachel fought with all her might to make my voice be heard throughout the land, but it was not to be, for the DJ misheard my name. Instead of "Bee-Ber" as it should be pronounced, the man in oversized glasses pronounced it "Bye-Buhhhhhhh" which happens to be the pronunciation of an Austrian DJ. This was a fatal mistake. To this day, Rachel and Lisa have both been condemned to wear my face in shame throughout the dissident cemeteries of East London. FOR ALL ETERNITY.
LISA!
YOU SHALL BE MY BRIDE FOREVER AND EVER!
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